{"id":166,"date":"2009-12-28T17:31:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-28T17:31:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2016-05-13T14:53:00","modified_gmt":"2016-05-13T14:53:00","slug":"fifi-saved-me-from-another-possbly-embarrassing-situation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=166","title":{"rendered":"Fifi saved me from another possbly embarrassing situation."},"content":{"rendered":"

Husband: Why is the TV screen all slobbery and gross?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Umm\u2026..I dunno. I can tell you what it WASN\u2019T from. It was NOT from me making out with Tom Selleck last night.<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: Huh?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Cuz that totally didn\u2019t happen. It must have been the dog.<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: What dog? We don\u2019t have a dog.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: WTF? What do you mean we don\u2019t have a dog? How could you forget Fifi?<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: Fifi?<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Yes, Fifi! Our little cockapoo? The one that bit you on the leg last week?<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: YOU bit me on the leg last week.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Nooooo. I was pulling Fifi OFF you. She was upset cuz you were ignoring her. I was trying to protect you. Your welcome.<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: We do NOT have a dog.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? It\u2019s bad enough that you ignore her. Now you\u2019re just being cruel.<\/em><\/p>\n

Husband: *sigh*<\/em><\/p>\n

Me: Shhhh! Magnum PI is coming on.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now that I think about it, I\u2019m not sure if any of that really happened. Except maybe the part about the TV screen being all slobbery and gross. Cuz I don\u2019t need yet another<\/em> restraining order.<\/p>\n

What? You think Tom Selleck would make out with me in real life?<\/p>\n

Yeah, me too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Husband: Why is the TV screen all slobbery and gross? Me: Umm\u2026..I dunno. I can tell you what it WASN\u2019T from. It was NOT from me making out with Tom Selleck last night. Husband: Huh? Me: Cuz that totally didn\u2019t happen. It must have been the dog. Husband: What dog? We don\u2019t have a dog. … Continue reading Fifi saved me from another possbly embarrassing situation.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,32,31,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-am-i-the-only-one-who-thinks-this-is-funny","category-freakin-weird-shit","category-s-e-x-is-not-dirty","category-the-internet-has-brainwashed-me"],"yoast_head":"\nFifi saved me from another possbly embarrassing situation. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=166\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fifi saved me from another possbly embarrassing situation. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Husband: Why is the TV screen all slobbery and gross? 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