{"id":169,"date":"2009-12-14T20:09:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-14T20:09:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2016-05-13T14:53:02","modified_gmt":"2016-05-13T14:53:02","slug":"i-dont-understand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=169","title":{"rendered":"I don’t understand."},"content":{"rendered":"

He was pissed off. At me. I didn\u2019t understand why. So I asked.<\/p>\n

Instead of getting an answer, I was insulted. I was called a whore.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t understand why.<\/p>\n

The insults continued.<\/p>\n

I explained that I didn\u2019t deserve to be treated that way. I didn\u2019t do anything wrong.<\/p>\n

I was told that I was not trusted. That I was in danger of crossing a line.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t. I was falsely accused.<\/p>\n

I never did anything remotely close to what I was being accused of. I know I didn\u2019t. I explained that and the insults stopped. I thought things would calm down.<\/p>\n

I was wrong.<\/p>\n

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I was the bad person again. The insults resumed.<\/p>\n

And then it was quiet. He left.<\/p>\n

Hours later, I received an apology, but I was still upset. I wasn\u2019t being unreasonable. An apology just didn\u2019t sweep it all away and make it not have happened. And when I explained that?<\/p>\n

I was told to bury it.<\/p>\n

Not asked.<\/p>\n

Told.<\/p>\n

Demanded actually.<\/p>\n

I was supposed to bury the fact that I had been treated badly. I was supposed to act as if nothing ever happened.<\/p>\n

How could I do that? WHY would I do that?<\/p>\n

And because I wouldn\u2019t \u2018bury it\u2019, I was the bad person all over again. The cycle repeated. The insults resumed.<\/p>\n

Except that I still had not done anything wrong.<\/p>\n

And I still didn\u2019t understand why.<\/p>\n

The next morning, I received another apology. I was told he was wrong. I was told he overreacted. I was told he acted immaturely. But he still didn’t acknowledge that I didn’t do anything wrong.<\/p>\n

I explained that I can’t let this keep happening. I can’t continue to be a verbal punching bag. He agreed.<\/p>\n

So now I try to get past it. But it’s hard. It gets harder each time. And when I think about what happened…<\/p>\n

…I still don’t understand why.<\/p>\n

*sigh*<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He was pissed off. At me. I didn\u2019t understand why. So I asked. Instead of getting an answer, I was insulted. I was called a whore. I didn\u2019t understand why. The insults continued. I explained that I didn\u2019t deserve to be treated that way. I didn\u2019t do anything wrong. I was told that I was … Continue reading I don’t understand.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,6,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifes-injustices","category-relationships","category-things-that-make-me-sad"],"yoast_head":"\nI don't understand. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=169\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I don't understand. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"He was pissed off. 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