{"id":210,"date":"2009-07-12T04:36:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-12T04:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=210"},"modified":"2009-07-12T04:36:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-12T04:36:00","slug":"updated-you-shouldnt-piss-me-off-in-a-room-full-of-knives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=210","title":{"rendered":"*updated* You shouldn&#8217;t piss me off in a room full of knives."},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"justify\">Sadly, the husband &amp; I are sitting at the kitchen table&#8230;..playing on our respective laptops. Yes, this is our Saturday night entertainment. I have yet to decide if we have no lives, are getting old, or are just too fucking lazy to do something decent on a Saturday nite. It seriously went downhill when the husband opened his mouth &amp; inserted both feet (as he usually does). After a lull in the conversation, he says, &#8220;I&#8217;m looking on Travis&#8217; page right now.&#8221; I asked, &#8220;His Facebook page? Are you still on Facebook?&#8221; He replied, &#8220;Yeah. His oldest daughter? Is really freakin&#8217; cute.&#8221; And I&#8217;m all, &#8220;Dood! I&#8217;m sitting right FUCKING here!!!!!!!!!!&#8221;<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div align=\"justify\">Now I realize that this is pretty much a marriage of convenience (&amp; certainly not the good kind of convenience), but I now keep looking over at the knife block, trying to decide if it&#8217;s worth going to jail to make my point. Hmmm&#8230;decisions, decisions.<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div align=\"justify\"><strong>Update<\/strong> &#8211; The husband tried to get out of he hole he had dug himself into by saying, &#8220;If she were mine, she would be locked up.&#8221;<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div align=\"justify\">So not helping your case dood.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sadly, the husband &amp; I are sitting at the kitchen table&#8230;..playing on our respective laptops. Yes, this is our Saturday night entertainment. I have yet to decide if we have no lives, are getting old, or are just too fucking lazy to do something decent on a Saturday nite. It seriously went downhill when the &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=210\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">*updated* You shouldn&#8217;t piss me off in a room full of knives.<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,26,6,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifes-injustices","category-misc-rantings","category-relationships","category-the-method-to-my-madness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>*updated* You shouldn&#039;t piss me off in a room full of knives. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=210\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"*updated* You shouldn&#039;t piss me off in a room full of knives. - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sadly, the husband &amp; I are sitting at the kitchen table&#8230;..playing on our respective laptops. 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