{"id":230,"date":"2009-04-11T17:42:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-11T17:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=230"},"modified":"2009-04-11T17:42:00","modified_gmt":"2009-04-11T17:42:00","slug":"the-white-truck-with-the-dangly-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=230","title":{"rendered":"the white truck with the dangly balls&#8230;.."},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"justify\">i was driving to a recent <span>chiro<\/span> <span>appt<\/span>, minding my own business (which is not entirely true, <span>cuz<\/span> i was on the way to the <a href=\"http:\/\/uthostage.blogspot.com\/2009\/03\/chiro-says-that-im-getting-better.html\"><span>chiro<\/span><\/a> &amp; <span>cuz<\/span> <span>utah<\/span> is chock full of idiot drivers. <span>lol<\/span>). i didn&#8217;t have much farther to go when i got behind a white truck with something hanging below the rear bumper.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_7R508gLP3Gw\/SeK1PaoIWbI\/AAAAAAAAACU\/uSvdx2ImlWg\/s1600-h\/04-08-09_1710.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324016985955654066\" src=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_7R508gLP3Gw\/SeK1PaoIWbI\/AAAAAAAAACU\/uSvdx2ImlWg\/s200\/04-08-09_1710.jpg\" style=\"cursor: hand; height: 200px; width: 150px;\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>i was all, &#8220;the hell? what IS that?&#8221; so i took a closer look.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_7R508gLP3Gw\/SeK1V6E6vgI\/AAAAAAAAACc\/OhfEMXwbggo\/s1600-h\/04-08-09_1709.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324017097477111298\" src=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_7R508gLP3Gw\/SeK1V6E6vgI\/AAAAAAAAACc\/OhfEMXwbggo\/s200\/04-08-09_1709.jpg\" style=\"cursor: hand; height: 160px; width: 120px;\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\">&amp; i was all, NO FUCKING WAY! that truck does NOT have testicles hanging on the back of it! but what else could have been? exactly! lucky for me, the truck was in the turn lane next to me when i had to turn to go to the <span>chiro<\/span>. i quickly take these crappy cell phone pics before we have to turn (<span>cuz<\/span> <span>i&#8217;m<\/span> a responsible driver in a sea of idiocy, remember?) i then notice that there is a bumper sticker in the back window that says:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<blockquote>\n<div align=\"justify\">how&#8217;s my driving<br \/>call 1-800-eat-shit<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div align=\"justify\">was i surprised? hell no! why wouldn&#8217;t a truck with testicles hanging on it have that bumper sticker? i was still laughing when i got to the <span>chiro<\/span>.<\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\">the next <span>nite<\/span>, i was out with some work friends, <span>havin<\/span>&#8216; some drinks, and some laughs. i remembered that i still had the pics on my cell phone and started to show them to the co-worker sitting next to me. this shit was just too damn funny:<\/div>\n<p><em><\/em><span style=\"font-size: small;\">i admit, there was A LOT of alcohol involved. but can you look at these pics &amp; not laugh? i didn&#8217;t think so. <\/span><\/p>\n<div align=\"justify\"><em><span style=\"font-size: small;\">me: oh! you gotta see what i was driving behind yesterday! (taking out my cell phone)<\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 85%;\"><span style=\"font-size: small;\"><span>micah<\/span>: was it the truck with the <span>dangly<\/span> balls?<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\"><em><span style=\"font-size: small;\">me: YES! (now laughing my ass off again) how did you know?<\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 85%;\"><span style=\"font-size: small;\"><span>micah<\/span>: <span>i&#8217;ve<\/span> driven by it too before. (he&#8217;s laughing too). it&#8217;s a white truck.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\"><em><span style=\"font-size: small;\">me: yes. <\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<div align=\"justify\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>i was driving to a recent chiro appt, minding my own business (which is not entirely true, cuz i was on the way to the chiro &amp; cuz utah is chock full of idiot drivers. lol). i didn&#8217;t have much farther to go when i got behind a white truck with something hanging below the &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=230\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">the white truck with the dangly balls&#8230;..<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,24,48,32,27,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alcohol-is-good","category-am-i-the-only-one-who-thinks-this-is-funny","category-dumb-drivers-even-me","category-freakin-weird-shit","category-life-in-the-fast-lane","category-the-method-to-my-madness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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