{"id":233,"date":"2009-04-06T17:35:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-06T17:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=233"},"modified":"2009-04-06T17:35:00","modified_gmt":"2009-04-06T17:35:00","slug":"death-by-acne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=233","title":{"rendered":"death by acne"},"content":{"rendered":"
last nite, i was looking in the mirror & noticed that my face has broken out yet again. i also was feeling kind of low, so i started to put 2 & 2 together \u2013 my zits are making me sad. the possible reasons for this are: 1) my zits are full of quaaludes or 2) they are tapping into my next bought of pms. both of which are advocates against the \u201cno touch\u201d general rule for zits. if i\u2019m right, pop away! you gotta get that shit out of there before they spread. if they are full of quaaludes & spread, there\u2019s always the danger of od\u2019ing. my death certificate would read, \u201cdeath by acne.\u201d awesome. if they are just coming from the pms, well\u2026..i guess the only question would be, \u201ccould i really be anymore of a bitch?\u201d<\/p>\n

the answer depends on just who you ask.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

last nite, i was looking in the mirror & noticed that my face has broken out yet again. i also was feeling kind of low, so i started to put 2 & 2 together \u2013 my zits are making me sad. the possible reasons for this are: 1) my zits are full of quaaludes or … Continue reading death by acne<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,26,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-am-i-the-only-one-who-thinks-this-is-funny","category-misc-rantings","category-things-that-make-me-sad"],"yoast_head":"\ndeath by acne - Tales of a Former Utah Hostage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=233\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"death by acne - 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