{"id":248,"date":"2009-01-30T04:12:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-30T04:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=248"},"modified":"2009-01-30T04:12:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-30T04:12:00","slug":"happy-valentines-day-buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/theutahhostage.com\/?p=248","title":{"rendered":"happy valentine’s day? buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"},"content":{"rendered":"
i admit it. i receive emails from an online adult store. there, i said it. sometimes the stuff in the emails is just too unbelieveably weird. i received an email today from them and at the top of the message it said:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\n
last chance – 25% off all vibrators for valentine’s day!<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
and i’m thinking, who in the HELL would give a vibrator as a valentine’s day present? i realize that many try to give something different than the more common candy or flowers. but, really? a vibrator? i guess nothing says true love more than a junk buzzer. well, some might actually agree with that.<\/p>\n

maybe hallmark should get in the adult product biz. their new slogan could be “when you care enough to send the very best ………. orgasm”.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

i admit it. i receive emails from an online adult store. there, i said it. sometimes the stuff in the emails is just too unbelieveably weird. i received an email today from them and at the top of the message it said: last chance – 25% off all vibrators for valentine’s day! and i’m thinking, … Continue reading happy valentine’s day? buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,33,5,31,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-freakin-weird-shit","category-holidays","category-love","category-s-e-x-is-not-dirty","category-the-method-to-my-madness"],"yoast_head":"\nhappy valentine's day? 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